HOWEDY nooner,
Sounds like you need anti psychotic medications and long term therapy.
"Noon Cat Nick" <chatdemidiSPAMBEGONE@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:rlU8k.227109$yE1.10886@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> I've lost my mother and five RL friends in the past ten years. The
latest
> I found out about less than a fortnight ago.
>
> Sometimes, though, I forget.
>
> I'll read or hear something, or think of something, and I'll say to
> myself, "I should remember to tell that to N---- the next time I talk
> to...no, wait, N---- died some years ago."
>
> In that same period of time, I've lost three cats. Still, I forget. I'll
> look in the back yard or out the window for one of them, and then
> remember, "No, Simba/Christian/Bijou has been gone for X years."
>
> It's been happening more often recently. After finding out Gina died, I
> think to talk to my mom about it, then recall that Mom's been dead for
> almost two years. Or I'll feel strongly the need to talk to Gina about
it,
> then right away feeling ridiculous because Gina is never coming back
> either.
>
> Those moments for me are terrible to endure. To think a loved one still
> alive and then suddenly remember they'd passed away long ago...in those
> moments, that loved one is more alive than they ever were, and at the
same
> time more dead then they will ever be.
>
> I'm afraid to sleep anymore. My dreams are filled with those moments
> nowadays. Then I wake up, and everything I see is one more thing I'm
going
> to lose.
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