HOWEDY mikey,
<unsurreality_2005@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:0833f217-1b04-4381-8935-74740fbeb429@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> On Jul 4, 1:42 pm,
> "Human_And_Animal_Behaviour_Forensic_Sciences_Research_Laboratory"
>
<Human_And_Animal_Behaviour_Forensic_Sciences_Research_Laborat...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
> wrote:
>> HOWEDY mikey aka pat aka unsurreality aka trollbasher aka
>> BLACK VOMIT, you anonymHOWES pathetic miserable stinkin
>> lyin animal murderin child an spHOWES abusin punk thug coward
>> active acute chronic long term incurable mental case and professional
>> dog trainin FRAUD an SCAM ARTIST,
>
> This proves you STILL don't know what the hell you are
> talking about. Who is "trollbasher" or "BLACK VOMIT" ?
> YOU are the one who changes his ID every ten minutes.
Yeah, you're right. I gotta APOLOGIZE for EXXXPOSING
you as a the pathetic miserable stinkin rotten lyin dog an child
an SpHOWES abusin FRAUD an COWARD which you are.
>> >> That's ABSURD, flick. Praising or REWARDING a dog
>> >> "AFTER THE FACT" is SHEER IDIOCY. AIN'T THAT
>> >> what you'd call "BAD TIMING" if you was TRYIN to
>> >> "teach" a behavior, flick <{}: ~ ( >
>>
>> > You are unbelievably ignorant.
>>
>> You are unbelievably pathetically cowardly, mikey.
>
> COWARDLY? Who won't meet me, COWARD?!?
You're right, mikey.
Oh, an THANK YOU for not HUMILIATIN an EMBARRASSIN
me any further by snippin them awful QUOTES and crossposts.
>> > Of course praising the dog right after he does his thing WORKS.
No, mikey, it DISTRACTS the dog from thinkin of what he'd just done.
>> Sorry mikey, praising or rewarding AFTER the FACT is ABSURD
>> like fixin your SHOCK FENCE fence AFTER your dog has ESCAPED
>> or STOPPING ABUSING IT AFTER IT HAD DROPPED DEAD
>> from STRESS INDUCED AUTO-IMMUNE DIS-EASE a.k.a. The
>> Puppy Wizard's SYNDROME <{}: ~ ) >
>
> Sorry, AssHowe. Immediate praise right at the finish works.
You mean, when tbe doggy made his poopys?
> If it doesn't work for you, then you need to learn some more.
You mean I gotta "LEARN" that HOWEsbreakin is a critter's
TERRORTORIAL IMPERATIVE from the age of THREE
WEEKS OLD and that ALL critters can be HOWEsbroken
NEARLY INSTANTLY on accHOWENTA it's NORMAL
NATURAL INNATE INSTINCTIVE REFLEXIVE behavior?
LIKE THIS?:
Newsgroups: rec.pets.dogs.behavior
From: "BlueMoon" <martha.br...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
Date: 3 Oct 2006 10:51:17 -0700
Subject: Re: Anyone actually tried Jerry Howe's techniques?
I tried Jerry's techniques when we got 2 puppies, Lab/German
Shepard Mix, sisters, at 3 months old. I was really at a loss.
I'm not a dog trainer, and it had been years since I had a puppy to
train. My husband's Dad was a vet, so they had quite a few as he
was growing up. I downloaded the manual (it was free, what did
I have to lose?) and we were both surprised to see his methods
deliver results in just a few days.
Some methods took a bit longer, some showed immediate results,
but we've now got some of the best behaved and happiest dogs in
the neighbourhood.
It went against alot of pre-conceived ideas we had about how
to train a dog. It's been over 3 months now, and so far, so good.
I'm not saying other methods don't work, but I had no interest in
trying any of them after I saw the results from this. It worked for
us without having to bribe, scold, or get frustrated.
Praise and attention alone work wonders when done at the right moment.
If you just follow the manual, you'll find that he
really knows what he's talking about.
Bluemoon
SEE?
LIKE THIS:
From: Mike (m.bidd...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
)
Subject: Re: Info. on the puppy wizard?
Date: 2004-07-18 14:27:02 PST
> > Oh, and did I mention his methods work, ya nuff said.
> > Mike
> Ok Mike which part worked for you?
It helped clear problems from my dogs in the
field using the can penny distraction technique.
Works like a charm.
My dogs get distracted easy from their jobs ie,
retrieving or training to find lost people, oh did
I mention that I am a Search and Rescue Team
Leader.
Sorry that slipped my mind.
I have read volumes of training books and don't
know where people get that Jerry copied others
work as I have NEVER come across his methods
before. I would like to see proof.
Just like Jerry outlined I eliminated problems one
at at time as they arose. I used to try and train to
the way I wanted them but this is backward, you
train out the problems leaving what you want left over.
Funny part is the second dog who had the same
problems as the other didn't need correcting for
some of his habits after I cleared it from the first
dog.
Seemed he learned through osmosis.
Nice side benefit there.
It nearly came to giving them up to a 3rd party
trainer as they were not performing well. The
VAST majority of working dog trainers are
agressive in their actions with the dogs.
I tried it and it didn't work and guess what I
was at my "Whits End" then someone I new
turned me onto Jerry and the rest is history.
I referred friends and families to Jerry's manual
and all have had great results. Starting puppies
out on the distraction technique is especially
good because they never develop the habit.
I had my sisters dog healing, sitting and down
stay reliably at 8-9 weeks. The first night home
following Jerrys advice we ditched the crate and
put the pup on the floor beside the bed and after
2 whimpers NOT A SOUND OUT OF THAT DOG
FOR 6 HRS! first night, that has never happened
in all my days.
Sorry, the man understands dogs its that simple.
Mike
SEE?
>> > Are you trying to spin this again?
You MIGHT say so, mikey <{}: ~ ) >
Here's a other puppy HOWEsbroke since DAY WON at 9 weeks of age:
Show Dog Bark Wrote:
Blue is doing fantastic. Thanks to his wonderful personality,
genetics and Jerry's help. I speak with Jerry a couple of times
a week about his progress and fine tuning his training. Blue
sits, heels, is totally toilet trained, comes, knows 'down', stay
and all kinds of things like 'lets go for a walk'.
He is pure joy and has made my heart glad and full of puppy love.
He loves walking in the forest trails and swimming in the cool and
refre****ng lake. His 'daddy' takes him for his final walk every evening
at 7 P.M. Then it is off to bed. He sleeps till 7 A.M.
It is nice to be able to sleep all night without getting up for a pee
pee a few times with him. In the first few weeks I had to take him
out at night, but now he is able to sleep all night. He is like a
tranquilizer.
I keep asking Jerry if Blue is a genius, as he is so clever and
obedient.
Her tells me this is the nature of a dog that has not been abused.
Blue is super good looking and so smart. He learned to sit weeks ago.
When he needs to go outside to relieve himself, he lets me know by
going to the door and woofing. One thing that I have noticed using
Jerry's methods is that Blue is very calm.
Most dogs are hyper and chew furniture and have bad habits. Blue
only plays with his toys. He knows the difference between his toys
and furniture and does not nip.
I was surprised that he does not want to go on the furniture. He likes
to play on the floor and outside. We sit outside together and he sits
by where I am reading. He may chew a toy or just hang out in the
shade. The whole town loves him and people are impressed with his
manners.
Show Dog Bark
-----------------------------
>> AFTER a behavior has been done the dog or child AIN'T
>> THINKIN of what he's DONE he's thinkin of WHAT'S
>> NEXT. THAT MIGHT BE tearin your ignorameHOWES
>> throat HOWET or you, mikey <{}: ~ ) >
>
> I want YOU to tear my throat out, Mr. "Green beret."
Probably not gonna happen, mikey.
HOWEver, would you settle for a little VooDoun SPELL?
> Can you handle even that?
Of curse, mikey. I THINK that's what croaked captain haggerty <{}: ~ ) >
> Whatever happened to the let's meet in Yeehaw Junction idea?
Well mikey, it was kinda a toss-up between you an Soup <{}: ~ ) >
>> > Everything to you is "absurd" and "sheer idiocy."
>>
>> You mean, like QUOTING YOU, mikey?
>
> The more you quote me the better, AssHowe!
Yeah. I noticed you SNIPPED the text AND cross posts, mikey.
THANK YOU for not EMBARRASSIN an HUMILIATIN me some more~!
>> > I could say 1+1=2 and you'd respond
>> > "That's ABSURD, SHEER IDIOCY."
>>
>> Probably NOT, mikey. Arithmatic AIN'T The Sincerely Incredibly
>> Freakin Insanely Simply Amazing, Majestic Grand Master Puppy,
>> Child, *****, Birdy, Goat, Ferret, Monkey, SpHOWES, And Horsey
>> Wizard's SPECIALTY.
>
> Nahh, really? LOL. NOTHING is your specialty.
You mean, other than critters, kids an ladies <{}: ~ ) >
Oh, and a little VooDoun, mikey. REMEMBER?
>> HIS SPECIALTY is human and animal behavior <{}: ~ ) >
>
> You had better go back to school for that
You're SETTIN IN IT, mikey <{}: ~ ) >
Date Oct 3 2005
Hi Jerry,
It is now 1:30 A.M. and I just finished reading your manual.
Of course I will need to read it many more times in order to
apply the techniques when I get a dog.
I found it even better than I thought it would be
and I had high expectations for it.
It is absolutely new , original, TOTALLY overdue
for the world to learn about to stop all the violence,
fear and abuse.
It is interesting how they have us in a SPELL (source
peoples emotional language legacy) and even with the
best of intentions while doing these awful techniques
that feel violent and inside the heart recoils from
doing them, there is the little voice that say's 'But
it is for the dog's good' and so I have to get tough
and not be a sissy and give in to the horror I am
seeing in the dog and feeling that in my moral compass
this feels wrong, and yet continue to betray myself
and the dog because all the "experts" who say they
love dogs ALL agree that I must do this and what do
I know, they say they love dogs they are "love covered
in fur" as Uncle Matty say's.
He loves dogs to say this so I must be too soft hearted
to recoil from what obviously is my duty toward the dog.
You really broke the spell for me.
It is ground breaking work and I am exited to absorb
it as in the first reading there are so many oh wow
moments that the exercises need to be studied at
another time as the impact of the first reading makes
it so mind altering that the emotional response of
FINALLY SOME SANITY is so strong that the details
of 'the how' to needs for me to be studied later many
times to internalize it so it is done correctly.
Thank you for the amazing manual.
Go jolly,
==========
> because you are horrible at it.
Sometimes TRAININ can be PAINFUL an make you CRINGE, mikey.
REMEMBER?:
"Warning: Sometimes The Corrections Will Seem
Quite Harsh And Cause You To Cringe. This Is
A Normal Reaction The First Few Times It Happens,
But You'll Get Over It." mike duforth, author:
"CourteHOWES Canine."
"I have heard advice stating that you should pre-load
your dog for Bitter Apple for it to work as efficiently
as possible. What does this mean?
When you bring home the Bitter Apple for the first time,
spray one squirt directly into the dog's mouth and walk
away. The dog won't be too thrilled with this but just
ignore him and continue your normal behavior."
--Mike Dufort
author of the zero selling book
"CourteHOWES Canines"
> Pretty sad seeing that's your "specialty."
From: "TooCool" <larrym...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
Date: Tue, 27 Jul 2004 18:56:16 GMT
Subject: Thinking Dogs
Using a proper training method, a method consonant with a dog's
nature, it is possible to enhance a dog's ability to think. If their
thinking faculty is not exercised and developed then dogs have a
tendency to bounce around, like a billiard ball, from one stimulus
to another.
But when a dog's thinking faculty is exercised and developed then
they enjoy using that faculty more and more. They begin to feel pride
in their accomplishments-you can observe their delight in the way
that they love to show off what they have learned.
As their thinking faculty develops you will begin to see them
improvise more and more, i.e., applying what they have learned
to new situations. Operant conditioning (clicker training) does
not exercise a dog's ability to think-it conditions a reflex like
reaction at the nervous system level.
If you desire to train a thinking dog, please read the Puppy Wizard's
Wits' End Training Method-it caters to the nature of our thinking dogs.
--Larry
-------------------
>> > But if your boyfriend chicken soup said "1+1=3" you'd
>> > praise him for being brilliant, because he's your boyfriend.
Leave Soup HOWETA this, mikey.
>> No mikey, NOT UNLESS HE COULD PROVE IT. Like HOWE
>> *you* can PROVE I'm a CONVICTED CHILD MOLESTOR:
>
> I've already proven it.
No, mikey. All you done was SLANDERED an LIED:
Subject: Re: New Puppy in house with older dog [jerry]
<unsurreality_2...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
> wrote in message
news:1164436759.781407.168700@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
ONLY child abuser is YOU - fondling children. I will say
you have some balls calling others child abusers when that is
EXACTLY what YOU do.
Go check your court records, imbecile.
They are easily found, as I did.
Only costs a few bucks to get...child molester...
--------------
You must got THAT idea from booby maida, captain
arthur haggerty's PARTNER IN CRIME, eh, mikey?:
From: Bob Maida (bob...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
)
Subject: Re: Need Advice About Jumping (ninnyboy)
Date: 2001-02-16 12:00:41 PST
Laura,
Better off to totally ignore him. Don't give him the attention
and conflict he craves.His mother was a prostitute and had no
time for him. Father?? --Unknown. They say he was part
of a migrant worker gang bang in the Fla orchids.
He is under house arrest (this is why no one has ever met him)
for molesting children at Disney World. Someone here needs
to find out the name of his probation officer and re****t his
online harassing
Bob Maida
Dog Training/Problem Counseling since 1969
Herndon, Virginia
Adopt/Foster one until there are none
--------------------
BWEEEAAAHAAAHAAA~!~!~!
> Why do I have to do it twice?
On accHOWENTA THAT'S the NATURE of a natural born lyin
animal child an spHOWES abusin COWARD, mikey <{}: ~ ) >
AIN'T IT <{}: ~ ) >
>> > He has no credibility whatsoever,
From: Paul Bousie
To: The Puppy Wizard
Sent: Thursday, August 07, 2003 8:00 AM
Subject: Geday.
Hey J,
I see nothings changed on the NG. Still the same
old crappy advice and misunderstanding of the
only advice worth reading.
The problem with your method J is that I can't
answer the questions on the NG no more, people
are after a quick fix, they don't want to understand
that dog training requires a disiplined method, I'm
now really understanding that they are all result
orientated, they want the dog to sit, to down, to
stay, to come, to stop it's "bad" behaviours, they
want to stamp out each anxiety one at a time not
realising they create a new one as they deal with
the last.
I feel sorry for them, they don't understand, they
don't even realise the errors of thier ways and
they arn't self thinkers, they follow the majority,
after all if everyone says thats the way then it
must be. I've finally realised people don't want
to learn to train dogs they want a trained dog,
they want a little puppet that sits and stays and
downs and does all the nice doggy stuff or so
they think, then when the dog acts like a dog
they come squealing to the NG asking how to
stop the dog being a dog.
I have a nice little visulisation of a dogs mind
that I think demonstrates the way we approach
dog training. Imagine lots of little circles all in a
cluster, each one representing a dog anxiety or
behaviour ( desied or not), each circle represents
something about the dog, all of them create what
a dog is.
The traditional way to train a dog is to stamp out
the "bad" circles, try to eliminate as many as you
can, problem is each one you stamp out another
takes it's place (anxiety circles can't be destroyed
they just change), obviously it's a futile exercise,
but thats the traditional way.
Now imagine a big circle that completely surrounds
all the small circles, this big circle is the whole dog,
that's what we get hold of with all the little circles
inside, we don't see the little circles we see the BIG
circle the macro as you put it and use that to train.
I laugh now when I see posts critisising you, they
are critising something they don't even understand
or even have the capacity to understand.
See ya,
Paul
-------------------
From: "Marshall Dermer" <der...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
To: "The Puppy Wizard"
<ThePuppyWiz...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
>
Sent: Friday, July 23, 2004
Subject: God Bless The Puppy Wizard
Dear Mr. Puppy Wizard,
I have, of late, come to recognize your genius
and now must applaud your attempts to save
animals from painful training procedures.
You are indeed a hero, a man of exceptional talent,
who tirelessly devotes his days to crafting posts to
alert the world to animal abuse.
We are lucky to have you, and more people should
come to their senses and sup****t your valuable
work.
Have you thought of establi****ng a nonprofit
charity to fund your im****tant work?
Have you thought about holding a press conference
so others can learn of your highly worthwhile
and significant work?
In closing, my only suggestion is that you
try to keep your messages short for most
readers may refuse to read a long message
even if it is from the wise, heroic Puppy Wizard.
I wish you well in your endeavors.
--Marshall Dermer
Marshall Dermer/Associate Professor/
Behavior Analysis Specialty/Department
of Psychology/University of Wisconsin-
Milwaukee/Milwaukee,WI 53201der...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
http://www.uwm.edu/~dermer
-----------------------------------
>> HOWE COME does mikey post anonymHOWESLY, mikey?
>
> I don't. This is my e-mail address. How is that anonymous?
THAT AIN'T, mikey. HOWEver, THIS IS:
unsurreality_2...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
wrote:
> Try this free book - it has helped me so much:
> Courteous Canines
> http://home.adelphia.net/~nuxodom
"Warning: Sometimes The Corrections Will Seem
Quite Harsh And Cause You To Cringe. This Is
A Normal Reaction The First Few Times It Happens,
But You'll Get Over It." mike duforth, author:
"Courteous Canine."
"I have heard advice stating that you should pre-load
your dog for Bitter Apple for it to work as efficiently
as possible. What does this mean?
When you bring home the Bitter Apple for the first time,
spray one squirt directly into the dog's mouth and walk
away. The dog won't be too thrilled with this but just
ignore him and continue your normal behavior."
--Mike Dufort
author of the zero selling book
"Courteous Canines"
It's SO much better than The Amazing Puppy Wizard's Garbage manual.
==========
> Learn to spell you moron.
If you got any ISSUES with my SPELLIN you MIGHT
wanna bring it up with my Houngoun, mikey? Tell her
she FAILED learnin me her SPELLIN an she'll turn you
into a ZOMBIE.
Oooops~! That'd be redundant, WOULDN'T IT, mikey.
As you sez: "Why do I have to do it twice?"
> I'll ask you ONE MORE TIME. Let's see how you
> avoid answering these questions yet again...
Are you gonna bring up that Yeehaw Junction thing again, mikey?
> Where are the lawsuits, against ANYONE?
cap'n haggerty **** THE BED on me
in the middle of a suit, mikey <{}:*~ ( >
> When can we meet at YEEHAW JUNCTION?
Ahhh, you're just jealHOWES of Soup, ain't you, mikey <{}: ~ ( >
> Why haven't you "dropped the hammer" on the industry?
On accHOWENTA I'm still workin on the LAST of the dog
news groups, mikey. IN CASE you hadn't NOTICED, they're
ALL DEAD an BURIED, mikey.
I got a SYSTEM an I gotta follHOWE the PLAN, mikey <{}: ~ ) >
> You've done nothing, you pathetic pile of dung.
Perhaps you should post it to alt.sup****t.grief.pet-loss, mikey?
> Just like your boyfriend chicken soup.
Soup ain't posted here in YEARS, mikey, on
accHOWENTA I took over for him bein a lot
more EFFECTIVE as I been, mikey <{}: ~ ) >
> Go look at his website...it STILL says "coming soon."
This'll settle any questions you got, mikey.
Soup's workin on it right NHOWE:
How Can I say this Unconstitutionally....
July 5, 2008
DOG HATER TOP TEN LIST
1. Rudolph Guiliani
2. Tom Skeldon
> Really? It said that 5 years ago!
The DATE sez TODAY: July 5, 2008
> Just like you've been claiming lawsuits for that
> and longer and STILL nothing has happened.
'You can't get blood HOWETA a ZOMBIE', mikey <{}: ~ ) >
> You two are cute together...
You ARE jealHOWES, ain't you, mikey <{}: ~ ( >
It's a GOOD THING you DON'T HURT DOGS, mikey <{}: ~ ) >
"Warning: Sometimes The Corrections Will Seem
Quite Harsh And Cause You To Cringe. This Is
A Normal Reaction The First Few Times It Happens,
But You'll Get Over It." mike duforth, author:
"Courteous Canine."
"I have heard advice stating that you should pre-load
your dog for Bitter Apple for it to work as efficiently
as possible. What does this mean?
When you bring home the Bitter Apple for the first time,
spray one squirt directly into the dog's mouth and walk
away. The dog won't be too thrilled with this but just
ignore him and continue your normal behavior."
--Mike Dufort
author of the zero selling book
"Courteous Canines"
BWEEEAAAHAAAHAAA~!~!~!
From: unsurreality_2...@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
22 Jan 2006 07:20:18 -0800
Subject: Re: blood platlettes [ninnyboy] [jerry] -
The Puppy Wizard's Syndrome <{) ; ~ ) >
> The Amazing Puppy Wizard is fixin to DROP the doGdameneD
> HAMMER on the ENTIRE INDUSTRY, unsurreality... <{) ; ~ ) >
Asshowe, you've been saying that for six ****ing years and up to this
point you've only berated a small group of people n a god damned
NEWSGROUP, jackasshowe.
> > > The Amazing Puppy Wizard THRIVES in a world of ****.
>
> > No ****, Sherlock - all you say is ****.
>
> It's NO SURPRISE that HOWER DOG LOVER will FIGHT
> TO THE DEATH defending their alleged RIGHT to HURT
> INTIMDIATE an MURDER innocent defenseless dumb critters.
NOT A SINGLE PERSON IN THIS GROUP HAS TRIED TO
"DEFEND THEIR RIGHT" to HURT, INTIMIDATE AND
MUDER their dogs...EVER, jackasshowe. You are completely
delusional AND NEED MEDICAL HELP, jackasshowe!
And, I'd never call my dogs dumb - because they aren't, jackasshowe.
Your fantasy dogs may very well be DUMB, but that would be YOUR FAULT -
which says you don't know jack **** about dog training,
jackasshowe.
> given THEIR POSTED CASE HISTORIES of CHRONIC DEATHLY
> DIS-EASE and REPEATED CANCERS in multiple dogs in the same
> HOWEshold, unsurreality. JUST LOOK at racetrack silly's and
> buglady's, janet boss's, Master Of Deception blankman and professor
> SCRUFF SHAKE dermer's, and matty's crittrer's DEATHLY CASE
> HISTORIES of CHRONIC DIS-EASES, SEIZURES and CANCERS
> <{) ; ~ ) >
Frankly, I don't give a ****, jackasshowe. You STILL HAVEN'T
GIVEN *ME* POSTS WHERE *I* ABUSE MY DOGS, jackasshowe!!!
And you CAN'T because I do NOT abuse my dogs yet YOU
constantly ACUSE ME of it, jackasshowe. On the other hand,
I can CERTAINLY acuse YOU of being an abusive, rotten,
creep of a person, because you've provided the proof in your
tireless rants, jackasshowe.
-Pat
There AIN'T NO "pat", is there, mikey...
> > You mean to abuse his dog, matty?
> Yeah, I'm sure that's exactly what he means, jackass.
> > But of curse. matty is a liar and dog abusing mental
> > case like you and janet boss and the resof of you punk
> > thug cowards and MENTAL CASES who The Amazing
> > Puppy Wizard SEZ can't post here nomore <{); ~ ) >
> Look, AssHowe...when you accuse people of being animal
> abusers when they are not, you lose credibility.
> > Yeah. THAT'S HOWE COME The Amazing Puppy Wizard
> > QUOTES them HURTIN dogs and LYIN abHOWET it, mikey.
> That's how come you are full of ****. I've been in Tae Kwon Do for
> 26 years, and when I mess up, Master Jae kicks me, and it hurts.
> However, because of his training me - even with force - I've
> become one of the best Tae Kwon Do experts. Of course you
> won't understand, given your insanity, but believe it or not, a
> few corrections in either human or canine makes a huge difference.
> Go ahead and flail away with the "jerking and shocking and
> choking" crap as usual...no one reads your bull**** anyways.
> Why not test the theory and write that you sup****t terrorists
> too, like you did of the 9/11 terrorists flying into the twin towers?
> HOWE about that? Give it a shot...no one gives a **** what you
> think.
> Go rehearse your crazy "a dog is a dog" and "a child is a child" and
> "a spouse is a spouse" at the kooks newsgroup - it has no meaning
> here as> it's all utter bull****.
> ****ing blowhard imbecile...
BWEEEEEEAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAA~!~!~!
Here's the RESULTS of that TOY *you* recommended (THAT
YOU COULDN'T REMEMBER THE NAME OF) an then
posted a WARNIN abHOWET it with a DEAD LINK, mikey?:
"You all remember that blue Buster Cube my friends gave me last
spring? Normally, I don't get the cube when I'm home alone, but
because I don't like food that much, my mom didn't think it was
that bad and forgot about the cube under the table. I didn't!
When she came home last night I was blue-because two of my
toes (on the right front paw) were stuck in the cube! My toes were
completely blue, too, when she got them out. (I think I had been
alone for one and a half hours.)
They (my toes of course!) got into the main hole and through to
the other hole (into the food)-you know, the hole that can be big
or small depending on how much your mom/dad likes to tease you
with your food.
Once my toes were in there, I got scared and tried to pull them
back, but couldn't. Mom had to get a hammer to break the cube
to get my toes out!
I didn't like being stuck-I tried to get loose by biting my paw
over and over again! Luckily, my mom came home and got me
loose. Just imagine: me-hurt and aggressive-biting her and
myself to get loose, and she yelling and screaming.
Maybe I should tell everyone that I normally stay very calm
when getting my nails cut and my ears and teeth cleaned.
But this time, Mom had to put my muzzle on just to get my
teeth away from the hammer.
Ok, I have long toes on my front paws, but not that long-so
take care, friends! It could happen to you too. Tell your moms
and dads that they need to take Buster Cubes away when you
are home alone.
-Love, the limping Wolf with missing fur on my front leg
and a bloody-red front paw
----------------------
BWEEEAAAHAAAHAAA~!~!~!
> but you already knew that.)
You're just upset on accHOWENTA here it is 4th of July and I
ain't fixin to spend the weekend with you in the "NoTell Motel"
in Yeehaw Junction, eh, mikey?
You wrote:
> Oh - I'll be easy to spot wearing my black Tae Kwon
> Do instructor's uniform - kinda hard to miss.
Mmmm, S-E-X-E-Y!
O.K., mikey. But FIRST, you gotta agree to a couple
THINGS to make The Sincerely Incredibly Freakin
Insanely Simply Amazing Majestic Grand Master
Puppy, Child, *****, Birdy, Goat, Ferret, Monkey,
SpHOWES And Horsey Wizard VERY VERY HAPPY!:
1. YOU MUST wear a flamin red tu tu over your black Tae
Kwon Doo Doo INSTRUCTOR uniform trHOWESERS
and a pink thong underneath.
2. YOU MUST wear bubble gum flavored lip gloss
3. YOU MUST wear light blue eye shadow with
a VERY THIN line of black eye liner.
4. YOU MUST wear a blue feather boa to match your eye
shadow.
5. YOU MUST wear faerie wings and carry a faerie wand.
6. You MUST wear a leather Harley Davidson cap and
gold lamay ballet slippers.
7. YOU MUST wear a princess crown on top of your black
leather Harley Davidson cap with jewels to match your
eye shadow.
8. YOU MUST SHAVE your entire body EXXXCEPT your legs.
9. YOU MUST wear a zippered face mask and hood with
standard ball gag. If you don't have WON, NO PROBLEMO.
The Sincerely Incredibly Freakin Insanely Simply Amazing
Majestic Grand Master Puppy, Child, *****, Birdy, Goat,
Ferret, Monkey, SpHOWES And Horsey Wizard got WON
for you <{): - ) >
10. YOU MUST paint your arse red. If you can't find your arse,
*(I seen THAT comin in my crystal ball) NO PROBLEMO,
mikey, The Sincerely Incredibly Freakin Insanely Simply
Amazing Majestic Grand Master Puppy, Child, *****, Birdy,
Goat, Ferret, Monkey, SpHOWES And Horsey Wizard will
do it for you.
11. YOU MUST sing "The Girl From Ipanema" while swi****ng your
butt. If you don't know all the words you can just squeal like a
pig to the tune while The Sincerely Incredibly Freakin Insanely
Simply Amazing Majestic Grand Master Puppy, Child, *****,
Birdy, Goat, Ferret, Monkey, SpHOWES And Horsey Wizard
paints your arse red for you, mikey <{}: ~ ) >
Your wife will think Pinka$$HOWE done it <{}: ~ ) >
> Let me know where and when you are ready to meet, coward.
O.K., mikey. HOWEver, The Sincerely Incredibly Freakin
Insanely Simply Amazing Majestic Grand Master Puppy,
Child, *****, Birdy, Goat, Ferret, Monkey SpHOWES And
Horsey Wizard gotta WARN YOU, HE LIKES IT ROUGH,
FAST and WET; and if it AIN'T ROUGH ENOUGH, HE
DON'T GET OFF FAST.
And if HE DON'T GET OFF FAST, REAL FAST, and REAL
WET, mikey, that means it weren't ROUGH ENOUGH... and
that'll make HIM GET MEAN <(): ~ ( >
REAL MEAN, mikey <() : - ( >
DON'T MAKE HIM GET MEAN, mikey <() : ~ ( >
That's HOWE COME the zippered mask an
ball gag will come in handy <{}'; ~ ) >
The Sincerely Incredibly Freakin Insanely Simply Amazing
Majestic Grand Master Puppy, Child, *****, Birdy, Goat,
Ferret, Monkey, SpHOWES And Horsey Wizard got a other stipulatiHOWEN for
HOWER meetin for you to beat HIM
to a pulp for NOT HURTIN DOGS, mikey:
You gotta get a *** change operation. It ain't a big deal.
Ask michael ball a.k.a andrea beck for the details. If you
LIKE, I can do it for you when we meet <{}'; ~ ) >
Oh, an DON'T FORGET, you BETTER be wearin gold
satin ballet slippers, a red tu tu and black leather biker
cap, ball gag an zippered mask, blue feather boa and
princess crown to match your eye shadow and faerie
wings and faerie wand along with your S-E-X-Y black
tae quan do INSTRUCTORS UNIFORM, with pink
thong under all, mikey, otherWIZE The Sincerely
Incredibly Freakin Insanely Simply Amazing Majestic
Grand Master Puppy, Child, *****, Birdy, Goat, Ferret,
Monkey, SpHOWES And Horsey Wizard JUST MIGHT
GET MEAN <{): ~ ( >
REAL MEAN <{}: ~ ( >
You know what to do, mikey <{}: ~ ) >
The Sincerely Incredibly Freakin Insanely Simply Amazing
Majestic Grand Master Puppy, Child, *****, Birdy, Goat,
Ferret, Monkey, SpHOWES And Horsey Wizard will be
settin right here, stark ravin nekkid, waitin on you <{): ~ ) >
"The day may come when the rest of the animal creation
may acquire those rights
which never could have been withholden from them
but by the hand of tyranny.
The question is not can they REASON,
nor can they TALK,
but can they SUFFER?" -
- Jeremy Bentham
"Of all tyrannies, a tyranny exercised
for the good of its victims,
may be the most oppressive.
Those who torment us for our own good
will torment us without end,
for they do so with the approval of
their own conscience." -
- C.S. Lewis.
"Death is better, a milder fate than tyranny",
Aeschylus (525BC-456BC),
Agamemnon.
"If you talk with the animals, they will talk with you
and you will know each other.
If you do not talk to them, you will not know them,
and what you do not know you will fear.
What one fears, one destroys."
Chief Dan George
All truth p***** through three stages.
First, it is ridiculed.
Second, it is violently opposed.
Third, it is accepted as being self-evident.
-Arthur Schopenhauer
"Thank you for fighting the fine fight--
even tho it's a hopeless task,
in this system of things.
As long as man is ruling man,
there will be animals (and humans!)
abused and neglected. :-(
Your student," Juanita.
"If you've got them by the balls
their hearts and minds
will follow,"
John Wayne.
ANY QUESTIONS, People?
"Ye shall know the truth,
and the truth shall make you mad." -
~Aldous Huxley.
"Mit der Dummheit kaempfen Goetter selbst vergebens!"
"Against stupidity the Gods themselves contend in vain!"
-Friedrich Schiller.
INDEEDY.
AND THAT'S HOWE COME THEY GOT ME NHOWE!
In Love And Light,
I Remain Respectfully, Humbly Yours,
The WORLD'S CRUELEST Trainer,
Jerry Howe,
The Sincerely Incredibly Freakin Insanely Simply
A-M-A-Z-I-N-G
*M-A-J-E-S-T-I-C*
*G-R-A-N-D*
*M-A-S-T-E-R*
Puppy, Child, *****, Birdy, Ferret, Goat, Monkey
SpHOWES And Horsey Wizard <{) ;~ ) >
HOWE MAY I SERVE YOU <{}; ~ ) >
Sincerely,
Jerry Howe,
Director of Research,
Human And Animal Behavior
Forensic Sciences Research Laboratory,
BIOSOUND Scientific,
Director of Training,
Wits' End Dog Training
1611 24th St
Orlando, FL 32805
Phone: 1-407-425-5092 (Call ANY TIME)
http://www.freewebs.com/thesimplyamazingpuppywizard
E-mail:
Human_And_Animal_Behavior_Forensic_Sciences_Research_Laboratory
@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
@[EMAIL PROTECTED]
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end
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